Love is Overrated

Or let me put it this way, the popular definition of love is overrated. If you have seen enough Bollywood movies and if you have actually been in love (or at least in the notion of being in love) for more than lets say 6-18 months, then you probably know what I mean. Let me break that up for you to explain my point better.

How does Bollywood or lets call it ‘the romantics’ define love? They portray it as a magical, mystical, ethereal feeling where everything is idyllic and the mere mention of your lover makes you ecstatic. This could be true for the initial few months of a relationship, where you just see the positives of your lover and the few negatives you see, you see them positively. Then there is another notion of un-conditional, never ending love which in some cases even lasts for several lives. As clichéd as it may sound, the truth however, is bitter (as usual). Love is NOT (yes in capital letters) un-conditional and NOT (yes in capital letters again) everlasting. But the point here is.. why should it be this way ?

Why should love me un-conditional? Think of any thing in life that you have achieved un conditionally. If you wanted to go to school (for studies or for friends) you had to sacrifice friends, if you were preparing for IIT-JEE, you had to sacrifice partying, fuck I can’t even remember the number of excruciating hours I have spent watching silly movies because my friend wanted to see it. So if everything else in life comes with a * (Terms and Conditions Apply), why should love be different?

Why should love be ever-lasting? I can't recall anything beautiful in life which hasn’t withered away – spring, flowers, fragrance, smile, laughter and life itself, all of them come with an expiry date so why set so high expectations for love.

Please let me not in any way imply that love will die and will always come with some sacrifices, but my point is that, it is the effervescence of love, which is romanticized about, that comes with a shelf life, and this is the only phase of love which will be unconditional, lets call it the honeymoon period. The typical time frame for this period, from my experience is 6-18 months, depending on the quality of exposure you have had. I don’t understand how can Karan Johar call it 'true love' when in fact it only a trailer, where you only see the best parts of the movie. The meat or the masala is what happens when this fizz goes away… and what happens after that… lets talk about that later ;-)

Hindsight !

Of course, I don't need to explain you the meaning of the title, BUT the reason for the title. I was just browsing through my previous blogs and I saw an intereting trend about the stuff I have been writing. I started blogging when I was 19, in couple of months I would be 24. Hey, this is not an insight that I am sharing but it happens so in life, your expectations (misery) increase with your maturity (age).
When I was a kid, all I wanted was a ballon and an ice candy (cola flavored:-P), then some years later a dairy milk, bournvita and hot wheels. Few more years passed and I yearned for more than linguistic pleassures, I wanted bigger toys and games, then came the age of cricket bats and video games and it only got worse with bowling, pool and go karting. The actual problem started when I got into clothes (worse- branded clothes), junk food, gadgets and girlfriends (which was more of a fashion than anything else). It became serious with IIT aspirations and cardinal desires. After having failed both of the above I wanted to resurrect myslef. I became even more motivated, irritated and frustrated, hence all the more difficult to please. This led to dreams of high paying jobs with MNCs or preparing for suicide by going for MBA. While I already have the former (MNC job), I still yearn for the latter (MBA) which is only fuel for my expectations (miseries). And, I just don't want to satisfy my lust now, but I want to succed in love (which is a Herculean task for all mortals). Also, I have now added a BMW to my wishlist !
Something which started with a small, harmless, 2 rupee candy, is growing to swnaky cars, fine dining restaurants, marrige and a lot more, its difficult to even take stock of !
I miss the pleasure given by the candy, from the paper aeroplanes I used to build, form the Cosco ball I used to play with and of course the yummy 2 miute maggi noodles :-P
But enough of hind sight, now time for some foresight !
Lets FFWD to 35-40 years down the line. Going by my previous statement, your expectations (misery) increases with your maturity (age), that is just how long you will take to settle your unfathomable hunger for more out of life. By now, your children are married, your grand children love you, you have done all you could have (if not all you wanted to). This is the inflection point, where your misery (expectations) decrease with your age (maturity) and you feel like having sweets and gol gappas again (which you can't because of your sugar and blood pressure) and these tastes give you pleasure equivalent (if not more) to your pay hike. I 'm saying this from first hand information from my grand father.
So, what is the solution, how to drive pleasures out of small things in life........? Let me know, if you have the answer, I have already helped you with 'the' question !

Twinkle Twimkle Little Star..

Before you start guessing, let me tell you, this isn't a blog about me reminiscing my childhood, nor is this about some kindergarten rhyme dear to my heart.

I am just trying to give words to the emotions that I and a couple of my friends at work have been feeling. To give you the context, we, at the Indian Citizens Forum (ICF) are a group of 30 odd youngsters who take some time off from work and visit small govt. run primary school, offering the help of any kind which in most cases is not just money. But, this blog isn't about the creaking public school education system either ( rather, calling it 'creaking' is more of a misnomer, govt. schooling system is in absolute shambles).I am digressing from my topic. Before I start sharing what I felt, I would just ask you a simple question.. How do you feel when a small kid looks at you and smile..? he/she doesn't say a word, just looks at you and smile with a twinkle in the eyes..?

How would you feel, if the reason for the kid to smile is YOU..!!

What is it about the kids that brings a smile to our faces ( well, most of our faces)..?The thing about kids, is that they are not like us.. like you and me.. I believe, they are the closest to the pure side of human being, uncorrupted, unedited. Now, I am not saying they are perfect, or they are very good and obedient and can not be bribed etc etc.. all I mean is that, if they want or like ( or they don't want or like) something they will just say it, they won't weigh the odds, analyse the repercussions or be conscious about he fact that if they are 'acting nice' or not.

During my visits to this small school ( which to be honest have been fewer than I wanted them to be), I have had this great feeling inside me, I won't call it just happiness but I feel it is closer to satisfaction. You know the same feeling I was speaking earlier, contributing towards making someone smile..!!

Hey, please don't get me wrong, I am not eulogizing or advertising about the our work or our group. I just wanted to share this emotion, hoping that there will be someone amongst you, who will be picturising about what I am talking about, and in some special way he/she will work to do something, not for the sake of the children or society or country.. but for oneself... for that sense of satisfaction we drive out of doing something for someone not part our flesh or blood..!!

( BTW: I was nick named 'photo wale bhaiya' for the pics that I clicked, I would have taken offence if it was coming from some one else, but the smile on the faces of the kidos was just overwhelming)

"UNITED WE STAND"

"Increadible India", "India Means Business"...etc etc..those were the words echoing everywhere, yes 'were the words'..come this 26/11 and the headlines went topsy turvy, the news flashes now show pictures of despair, grim faces have replced the effervescent smiles. I won't go into the details and numbers of terrorrist attacks, nor dive into history of terror attacks we have endured, but the sheer audacity of these attacks is apalling to say the least.

I faced this strange paradox myself. I was in Frankfurt at the time of attacks, there whenever the word 'India' came up, it was always associated to growth, properity, oppurtunities, culture, diversity and every thing that made me a proud and confident 'Indian'. But the after the news of attacks broke out, the mood changed rapidly, I couldn't hide my diffidence in admitting that these attacks are not a rarity in India, and that the number of people dieing is actually less than the historical numbers. It happens in such situation, you are a kind of ambassador of your country and answerable for everything happening out there. Hundereds dying and getting injured won't be the headlines that an Indian will be seeing for the first time, more so in the last couple of years. Like the previous (sucessful) attempts by the terrorrists, they managed to hit the nerve centers of India this time as well. Now I'm not at all lauding the terrosists whose inhumane activities bring shame to their country and religion. But there incessant strikes have definitly dented the confidence of any average citizen of India. To be honest, I am afraid to go into a crowded place these days, I do get suspicious about people with beards and carrying black bags, even more so when I see any deserted bag anywhere.

But the effects of these attacks in particular, are far worse physcologically if not physically. We, its so depressing to say, are used of seeing people die, which have seldom directly affected our daily lives. But what we are not used to see (unlike the people of pakistan), is foreigners being targeted (so now the headlines would read for eg, 6 foreigners die amongst the total toll of 101), cricketing nations deffering and canceling their trips, companies (like mine) asking its employees to cancel their trips to Mumbai specifically. But I won't blame them, I mean how many of us would be eager to go to Somalia, Iraq or may be even Pakistan. Well, if you think its exxageration to compare India and Iraq, you better check the numbers India is next to only Iraq when it comes to the number of people dying in terror attacks.

All said and done, what is our responsibility as 'Indians'..?? Ofcourse no one expects us to storm into the hotels and bring the terrorists to their knees. What we as a regular citizen can do is, to 'defeat their purpose' if not them as such. If we unite ourselves and say to the world that, the terrorists may have the gunpower which may take our lives, but they definitly can not kill the spirt of Indians..that however 'organised' their attacks might be, we will not loose our track, we will get up the next morning and head to our offices, schools etc. with even more zeal to 'defeat their purpose' and to take India to greater heights.

I won't be wrong in saying that terrorists are themselves a 'terrified' lot, they fear of India becoming a economic power, they hate India being acknowldged as the epicenter of Southern Asia, and if we could just smile to thier faces and say 'dude no matter what you do, I won't stop untill I have reached my destination (which by the way is not just overtaking US)'.
Here is a middle finger to all the terrorists..!!

"If god does'nt bother..why shoud we...?"

The above statement is an uncouth quote by neither of the esteemed personalities the times have seen (as it would have been politically incorrect for such a stark and belligerent remark). I am quoting the house help of my mother who doesn’t have to worry about her image, so she can speak her mind unlike most of us..But that is not the issue here.
I am quoting her to introduce her and her ilk and to elaborate the nuances of Indian society. The story..let me correct my self right away..I am not telling you any story because they can be biased towards the protagonist, but instead I will just unveil a situation before you and leave the judgment upon your pragmatism. Nita, another house help (another euphemism for a servant who mops floors and does laundry for money in households) is getting the second of her five daughters married next month, she (the daughter) is 17, as told by Nita, but by the looks she doesn’t look any older than 14 or may be about 15 and not by any means near the legitimate age of marriage (18 for girls).
Now why is she lying, might be to save herself and her family from the wrath of policemen, who might get her incarcerated for such a heinous crime (I am being sarcastic, as the policemen seldom imprison the opulent perpetrators of the most serious felonies..but again that isn’t the issue here). And why in hell is she getting her married at such a young age..when she knows that she’ll have to pay a hefty dowry for a decent groom, and already burdened by the loans she took for marriage of her eldest daughter, why is she further accentuating her scourge…?
Now most of you might as well blame her for procreating so many children, but she must have been helpless in front of her drunkard husband who might raped her many times over. Then again why didn’t she report the case of domestic violence against her husband..? May be because even if she did that with or without paying the bribe to the cops, she will be left alone at mercy of the canines (I am referring to the deceitful, prying and lewd men) living in and around her slum, and conventionally speaking husband, no matter however inebriated he might be, is the only sentinel to her family. Adding to it she might as well be declared a witch who got her own husband locked up, and once she looses her face in the society, who will marry her daughters..?
Ok so she can not help that situation..but why then get her daughter married at such a young age..? May be she is afraid that she might fall pray to her husband one day in his inebriated state, a crime most disgusting of all, but in the shoddy slums where she lives, such cases are a regularity, and even if that is not a possibility, there are still many out side with carnal desires, and plus she might also be getting her married just to get over with the obligation, because after all whenever her daughter gets married, Nita will still have to pay dowry, take loans and also the sooner she gets married the sooner her burden of supporting her expenses will end. What ever may be the case..?
Now the sensitive ones amongst the readers might feel for her abject circumstances and the odd ones amongst them might even want to help her, but the question is how..? By getting her husband locked up..? By getting every suspected person from her slum arrested..? Or by helping her daughter getting married..? Or will you provide an untrained, illiterate daughter of Nita an employment, and mind you that too, trusting the intentions of her prospective employers…?
And while most of you will blind your eyes towards her poverty and lead their normal lives, Neena, the house help, chose to sum it all up by her satire… “If god doesn’t bother, why should we..?”.

SAALA इश्क !!!!

ये इश्क नही आसान बस इतना समझ ले ....आग का दरिया है..और डूब के जाना है॥!!! yup i knw its an age old cliche..par i feel it is the best way one can define love..!!ya ya iknw love is unconditional..love is friendship..this that..everything and what not..!!..i'm not soundin like some one in luv but it is true..love is'nt as romantic and as glamourous as it seems from the bird's eye view..the ground realities is that..love is difficult man..imean to love some one..to give some one priority over urself is tough..especially for a person like me..who loves himself very much..(which is a euphemism for a self obsessed narcisist)!!
see..my straight forward ideology is tht man by nature can never be satisfied..!!so if hes desperate to find his/her love..he won't be satisfied once he gets that..rather he'l find another reason to be upset..for example..chal chadd..this does'nt need examples..!!now here i'm takin big risk of upsetting my girl friend (darlin i realy realy love you and u knw it, and u also knw hw frustrated i cn be..)..shes my anti knocking agent..my catalyst..my refresh button..my step up transformer..but in times of trouble between us,.,.and for people with no prior experiance in this domain..such times can be often..one (read I) gets very irated,irritated..and such not so good '..ted's,..and then only ur obstainence (hope i splet that right)..perseverence..and ur belief in urself,the other person and the relationship can rescue..
i dun wana give a slightest of hints that one shud avoid gettin involved in this..its jus that..one shud come prepared..and not get carried over by the initial highs..some of the key areas of concern can be..difference in perception..a very comman observation..after al evry person is different..all u gotta do..includin me..is to respect the other person's ideology without comprimising urs..and most importantly comparin it with urs or ur family's..its as tough..(at least for me) as it is confusin..!! listen up..it is'nt tht this is happenin jus to me..its an epidemic when it comes to understanding..the conflict between ideoligies..and if u disagree..ur in a premature state..wait n watch..!! any ways..the hues of love..and being in love has been potrayed by many..and mind u..you will never be able to infraction the rainbow..u can not just go and say that i just want the violet from the VIBGYOR..and no matter how much u abhore yellow (as in case of my girl friend)..u'l always get that in the package..!!
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CARE for a minute...ATLEAST..!!

Its 25TH JAN'08, not a special day in my calendar, when while reading newspaper, which is a daily routine, a strange paradox struck my eye, something which is very visible in any good daily everyday, but which we often oversee and ignore.
There was a news that a man, a kite maker by profession had pushed his two sons into a gushing river, they were aged 10 and 4, he was planning to drown another of his son and then take his own life when a passerby saw him and reported him to the police, he is now incarcerated under section 302. from where I see, poverty is all he is guilty of.
Turing another page I saw that the much talked about PDS scheme (public distribution scheme) where in essential commodities like wheat, rice sugar and kerosene are distributed to the ones below the poverty line, are being siphoned in the way towards their target, also as much as 39-49% of the goods is being distributed to those who are above poverty line, which is not at all shocking in our country, and I’m sure that onlookers like me will feel pity and turn the page, the govt. will promise setting up a committee to look into the matter, there will be some pseudo inspection, even if there is any, any ways time for the next page.
Well for those who do not know, the World Bank definition for poverty line for developing nations like India is US$ 1/day/person or approximately Rs 40, which means that 75% of India is under poverty line.
But we here in India we take the liberty of further marginalsing the line to Rs 10/day/person or US$ 75 for entire year. That amount which just means a movie at the multiplex for us (3 hours of entertainment), means a meal, shelter and clothing for 50% of India, for an entire year.
Turning another page I see yet another statistical data of the no. of peasants who took there lives in Vidharba and else where, well I had already done an in-depth analysis of how god forsaken those people are, so I didn’t have the guts of further depressing myself.
Now came the turn of the Business column, a page full of billions of dollars and the blabber of how Indian is trotting down the development lane. Sky rocketing sensex, amplitude of mergers and acquisitions progressing geometrically etc. etc. now I don’t say that it is bad, what I’m trying to say that why such an ironic situation doesn’t perturb any of the masses, why can’t the Indian growth story be more inclusive.
All said and done, I was at the end of my newspaper, and my clock signaled that it was time for the new blockbuster Hollywood action film which will be aired in minutes from now, so I just wrapped up my newspaper, grabbed a cola and wafers and got ensconced in my sofa, unperturbed….!!

dun knw wat..?

i knw a strange title..huh..'dun knw wat..?"but thts true for some of the most obvious things in the life..one wud knw al d details, al the facts n figures..but stil be clueless about the situation..standin in middle of no where..knwing the way towards the destination(s)..but scratchin his head and wonderin..to go or not to go..jus blindly thinkin bout nothing..ya i knw i'm not makin any sense,,but u c ths is wat i'm talkin bout..a strange paradox..an uncertainity amongst enuf certainity..a wierd dilemma amidst otherwise ample surety..i knw most things..but dun knw clearly..as to what i wanna knw..yup there i go again..too much of absurdness in my thoughts..lemme try n be more clear..like i had planed six postings prior to this..but they were kept in abeyance for one reason or the other..(i guess lathargy is a valid reason)..but dun why i preceeded this posting prior to otherwise planned ones..this ain't helpin u huh..yup me niether..lets figure it outon its way through..
life in the larger sense is so comfortin and peaceful for us..(i'm refferin to the ones with the privilige and the intellect to surf the net or for tht matter read and write)..as compared to the other..u knw less privillaged ones..but still..there's sumthing not complete about it..we'r in constant persuit of some otherwise imaginary,dillusionary thing..with the conception (read misconception) that ones we attain that (the mythical thing) we'l be gay n gaiety..but the fact is u'l never get that..coz once u hv that..u'l realize that..this is'nt exactly what u wanted..whatevr u got for better or for worse..is'nt the most desired object..u knw its that strange kinda bubble with in u..which does'nt settle..!! u always want smthing more out of life..but neither knw wat u want exactly..and u never knw how much of it u want..theres always this uncanny desire for more or for that matter smthng different..!!
this is wat i was sayin..u hv virtually evry thng u need..but u ain't satisfied..u sm thng else..u want smthng more..but u dun god damn knw wat..??
this is the wierd thing with life is'nt it..if it screws u..it screws u tight..and when ur out loose n free..u thnk..wether really i wanted to be free..and thts the catch..the fuckin life is screwin ur mind..if not u physically..!!
tht reminds me of one of my favorite quotes....
"no ones a virgin..life screws all"..
by the way..i turn 21 in months time..and i'm stil a virgin..(in the more practical sense)..
u knw wht..i dun knw wat the fuck is wrong with us..i dun wanna find out it either..u knw smthng are better undiscovered..but there are lotta things i'l like to share with u ppl..(my love for instance)..so i'l see u soon.!! aDiOs..!!

LAST AMONG EQUALS......!

YUP...its right we boyz.....or let me make it more clear...we "General quota, Middle class Boyz"..
r the last among equals...well this is'nt my thought, just a refined version of my frnd rohit's crappy mind... the case which made us realise this: we went to get our railway tickets reserved (actually rohit went along wid another frnd of ours...i'm too lazy for all this shit....yar we hav to wait in ques for hours only to get a waiting ticket...indian railways' ticket counters suck big time...eeeh why do i hav this uncanny nack of diverging frm the topic..) so, where was i..yup so he waited for 2 long hours( as usual) only to get a waitlist no. 93 which we ofcourse didi'nt get reserved....but the point is the BSF personnel got their tickets in their quota, same fr the army people...they even get some kinda relaxation in fares once in 6months, and our fellow female frnds...(girl frnd wud hv been misinterpreted) too in their LADIES quota, a rich frnd of mine got tickets reserved for AC compartment...and we got stuck, coz we dun wana spend o ac, we certainly can't manage the stinking boggies filled with overwhlming no. of poverty striken morons..(i knw its harsh...but its my blog) 'general compartment'... And we hav no sort of quota to support us...god knws how will we manage...but we still hav the 'bribe' option available....i tell you after cops...the fu**in 'tte' (travel ticket examiner..i think) are the most corrupt ppl...
ne ways....let share the pain and frustration boyz....too general with too modest pockets but a having a certain standard....cheers!!

S.O.S

{WARNING: The following peice of art contains abusive words that might be objectionable to certain people...(though the content has been diluted..i wantd to continue abusing engg.) but the catch is tht its my blog..so i'l write wht ever i feel like.}

yup i'm bck wid my frustration...nope this has got nothing to do wid my fear of growing old and gray...the topic for today is...this bloddy f**kin engineering....nw if you r an engineering aspirant this might discourage you....but its a fact...the story is'nt as fascinating as it seems from outside....god damnit....engg. is one big let down atleast in my case...maine kya kya sapn sajaye the...but all in vain. I thought colej wud be fun...gals, cafe....and frm padai pont of view...i thought engg. wud b max. practicals...but the fact is we r thought to become sect./typist. Seriously yar...engg. is all about fightin deadlines for assignments/projects/lab files...and all of little use in the real world. Sometimes i thnk all we do is serve our asses on a platter to our lect.'s who molast us by there constant whips of unwantd...irritating assignments/projects. And story does'nt end here after four years of xploitation....we go to industries where our bosses make us toil and swet...then they r the ones who get there share of our a**. i remeber a sms i wud like to quote..."engg. colej- where we waste four years of our life's only to learn as to how to waste rest of our lives...!!!"
{the above picture might seem xaggertated...(typically me)....feel free to comment}

virgin at 20.....

haan haan yeh sach hai!!....sounds melo-dranamatic na..? but it is true...tomorrow, tht is 23rd april, i turn 20 yrs "old"...end of teenage..end of a phase of life....i feel like my freedom of doing nothing at all is being stolen...and unwantd responsibilities are bein slapd on to me...yaya i knw i'm xagerating.....but getting back to the topic..... last year when i turnd 19, i thought it is going to b the year...when i'll just do it....(do i need to mention wat 'do it' refers to...?) but this bloody engg. college wid absolute scarcity of gals...and not to mention the location of my colej...ferozepur..12km from pakistan border...litrely where the road ends...who gets the oppurtunity...but then again why blame the place for my misfortune...oops there i go again on the xageration highway.....!! after all it is'nt tht big a deal is it.....??there r many such despos like me (in this country atleast)..who r just waiting for 'the day'...to cme...!!! (but then there r already many ppl of 'our age' who hav quenched their thirst of flesh..."jism ki bhook" ) chal chadd yaar.....waise bhi someone (special) has said..."virginity is a special thng....meant for someone special in your life.."...its a one time thng you see...when you loose it..you loose it.......//that did'nt made much sense na..?..more over it sounds like 'grapes r sour'....but thts the way it is...ne ways just njoy ur life wid whtever you hv...!!!(did you get it...?)

dun knw wht it is....!!! just found it interesting, so i'm posting it....just aeinwein he..!!

aloha...!

Hi there,

So finally divy starts blogging.....this posting is just to say quick 'hi!' to fellow bloggers and let them know that one of the most frustrated persons has entered the blogging arena....hehe. But seriously yaar...this is going to be "punching bag", where i'll spill it all out and get done with my sudden bursts of frustration & anger....wowo i sound like a lunatic na..? well thats divy for you...i'v got various shades....i'm moody u c...and not to mention confused.ok enuf of me...nw its your turn to comment and hello back to me....('hello back to me'...i know it does'nt make sense....par koi na...bhavnao ko samjho..) cya n' tc!!!